Yes, Mike Tyson Wants Smoke With a Great White Shark

Illustration for article titled Yes, Mike Tyson Wants Smoke With a Great White Shark
Screenshot: Discovery Channel

I’ve fought racism, parking tickets and cashiers for extra napkins, but I can’t say that I’ve ever thrown hands with a Great White Shark. Mike Tyson, however, is not me—which apparently means that he’s about to beat some shark’s ass.

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After teasing his return to boxing in May, the former heavyweight champ will kick off the Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week” by squaring up with one of the ocean’s most feared apex predators: the Great White Shark. According to CNN, “Tyson Vs. Jaws: Rumble on the Reef” will also include legendary ring announcer Michael Buffer.

“I took on this challenger to overcome fears I still deal with in life,” Tyson said in a statement.

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“I equate this with overcoming my fear of getting back into the ring at 54 years old. I learned from this experience doing ‘Shark Week’ that whatever intimidates me, I am still able to step up to the challenge of overcoming anything that would prevent me from accomplishing my life’s mission of reaching my highest potential in life and bringing me closer to God.”

The Discovery Channel maintains that “no sharks were harmed (or bitten) in the making of this episode,” but I guess we’ll wait and see if Iron Mike can say the same thing.

“Shark Week” begins on August 9 at 8 p.m. ET.

Menace to supremacy. Founder of Extraordinary Ideas and co-host and producer of The Extraordinary Negroes podcast. Impatiently waiting for ya'll to stop putting sugar in grits.

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DISCUSSION

I grew up around Myrtle Beach and they taught us in school to punch a shark on the nose if one comes after you. I’m serious. My girl doesn’t believe me but there are all these tunnels in a shark’s nose and any trauma to it causes those tunnels to fill with some jelly-like substance, the shark feels massive pain, and it runs/swims off. Every science teacher I had for 7-8 years (didn’t take a science class as a senior) taught us this. Hell, they even taught it at the aquarium where I later worked.

So while this stunt is dumb and probably akin to last year’s “swim meet” against Michael Phelps, it’s not outside the realm of possibility for a boxer to “beat” a shark. Just don’t expect him to get a right cross in on its jaw.