Photo: Rob Carr (Getty Images)

I swear this isn’t hate.

Robert Griffin III, former Baylor quarterback turned NFL Rookie of the Year with the Washington Redacteds, is a world-class athlete. Misuse wrecked his knee. A bum knee wrecked his career. Media scrutiny wrecked any goodwill he had.

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I swear, again, that I’m not mad at the boy.

He seems like a nice, well-meaning guy, like one of Theo’s friends that Claire Huxtable would trust. That, or any present-day black high school baseball coach (I just report the facts). He’s got a new lease on life, for now at least, in the NFL with the Baltimore Ravens. Even though the spot could have been Kaep’s, he’s earned his shot.

I have not let the roast form in anger. I love my life. I just bought a Dyson vacuum, fam. Me and mine are straight over here.

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With that said, allow me a moment to ask the question on my heart as my heart would have t said:

What the f*ck do this nigga have on his head?

Robert Alowishus Griffin the third looks like an extra in the Rocky scenes when Rock visits Apollo’s gym. Like he should be in the background sparring with that blurry ass hairline.

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Robert Griffin looks like Pinky from Friday gave his life to Christ.

RGIII looks like he used to do cocaine with John P. Kee.

Yung Rob favors still listens to Dom Kennedy.

Why come Robb Deep never told us he auditioned to star in an Eddie Murphy biopic?

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If a villain put a gun to my head and made me choose between this haircut and KD’s perma-peaze, I’d ask him for a blunt and a blindfold.

Robert Griffin III looks like the Nollywood Lucious Lyon.

That’s it. Just had to get that off my chest.