Kim Kardashian via Instagram

What happens when you try to be provocative and write about something that you obviously have no clue about? An article titled “We’re Officially in the Era of the Big Booty,” with references to Jennifer Lopez, Iggy Azalea, Kim Kardashian and Miley Cyrus, happens.

Patricia Garcia writes in Vogue magazine, “For years it was exactly the opposite; a large butt was not something one aspired to, rather something one tried to tame in countless exercise classes. Even in fashion, that daring creative space where nothing is ever off limits, the booty has traditionally been shunned.”

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Obviously Garcia hasn’t hung out around black people for much of her life. Or only knows three: Nicki Minaj, Rihanna and Beyoncé, who are cited in the article.

As I’m sitting here—on my well-endowed derriere, as a matter of fact—I can’t help wondering why butts are now en vogue. Oh, wait, is it because there are nonblack women now carrying the extra baggage of Sarah Baartman?

Let’s take a look at the butts Garcia refers to.

Sure, J.Lo has been around for decades, from her start as a Fly Girl on In Living Color to a pop star and actress. Lopez’s butt made her famous back in the day. But guess what? Take that 6 train that J. Lo sang about, and on any given day you’ll see hundreds of butts even more impressive than hers.

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And then there’s Azalea. Sorry, but I’m going to need receipts. By receipts, I mean it looks store-bought. Along with Azalea’s fake blaccent, I’m wondering if she rocks a Depends diaper or had some silicone pumped into her rear.

Garcia also couldn’t help mentioning Kardashian. I mean, I guess her butt launched her career—too bad it was in a homemade porn with Ray J. The writer seemed to gloss over that small-screen debut and decided to credit the Kardashians’ long-running reality-TV show. And just as with Azalea, I can’t help wondering if it’s real or fake. According to Kardashian it’s real, but I’m not buying it.

Allow me to say one word about Cyrus even being a “thing” in the article: No.

When social media got wind of the Vogue article, it didn’t exactly go over too well, and the hashtag #voguearticles was created.  

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https://twitter.com/MelechT/status/509668229124726784https://twitter.com/bad_dominicana/status/509719288136355840https://twitter.com/thegardenof_/status/509691825184309249https://twitter.com/brokeymcpoverty/status/509691460804153345https://twitter.com/lukejamesbgn/status/509682548054949888https://twitter.com/wondermann5/status/509727304118194176

I’m going to let the folks at Vogue have their fun with their little article, because honestly, I’d rather not have any black female celebrity whom I hold dear even mentioned in such a way. What it boils down to with the list Garcia made is that the assets on these women she mentioned are nothing new. Black women have been carrying around the weight of the world for some time. We’re appropriated but never appreciated, even down to our asses.