Kristy Love and Santa Claus
TLC

Once upon a time, TLC was all about learning. But now it’s all about subversive, reality-television programming. Case in point was this month’s premiere of Strange Love, a show that aims to help people who aren’t exactly ordinary find love, as well as explore “shocking and sometimes provocative relationships of some of America’s most surprising duos.” So far the show has had its fair share of characters—I mean guests.

Enter Kristy Love, a 36-year-old massage therapist from Atlanta. Love is looking for love, but she doesn’t want a man who wants her only for her assets. Those assets happen to be her 48NN-sized breasts, which weigh a total of 31 pounds.

“I'm looking for true love,” Love said during Wednesday’s episode. “Someone who I love, and who loves me. My boobies do not need to be alone; it's time for them to find a man.”

When she’s not looking for love on TLC, Love actually makes a living because of her breast size. In a 2013 interview, Love claimed that she makes $1,300 a day by squishing and massaging men with her breasts.

Color me speechless.

Maybe Love could be a match for another guest on TLC’s Strange Love. But she’d have to be willing to live Christmas every single day of her life. What would you expect from a man who lives life as Santa Claus?

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The man, who goes by “Santa Claus,” also lives in Georgia and is looking for love, but he has some really strict requirements. Any woman who wants to be with him would have to be free of nicotine, alcohol, curse words and R-rated movies. Basically he’s looking for his own Mrs. Claus.

“I am the real-deal Santa Claus. I’m looking to find Mrs. Claus. Someone that can stand beside me, have a good time and live Christmas 365 days a year,” said Santa Claus on Strange Love.

Real deal? Someone please tell this man Santa isn’t real.

In the realm of social media, Strange Love was a hit, but it was also the butt of several jokes. From Love’s massage occupation to the fact that some described Santa Claus as a serial killer, it left people wondering what happened to the old TLC. They have no one to blame but themselves and making shows like Honey Boo Boo popular.