The Root Tapped to Buy NBC for #NegroSolstice

TV/Radio news anchor with prompter and microphone.
TV/Radio news anchor with prompter and microphone.
Photo: Shutterstock (Shutterstock)

JUST IN: The Root is in final talks to acquire NBC in an unprecedented deal.

NBC, which stands for Niggas Be Cappin’, will officially merge into The Root’s mega-media conglomerate on Dec. 21, 2020 at approximately 12 p.m. CPT, known as the Negro Solstice or Negro Soulstice.

“I’m thrilled about this partnership to champion the most Blackity Black content on an expanded platform and to use our new superpowers to dominate airwaves,” The Root Editor-in-Chief Danielle Belton said in a statement. With the acquisition, Belton has now been named Executive Chairmama and will oversee company operations as well as supervise the Charcuterie Board of Directors. Belton also wants to make sure to alleviate any fears that this merger will incite The Man to overthrow The Root as the publication may become too powerful with this acquisition, thus a clear threat to the ruling media elite.

“We’re the captain now,” Belton added.

Along with digital media sites focusing on breaking news, politics, entertainment, culture, health, sports, education, food and spades, The Root is already diving headfirst into its new role with an exciting slate of television content for the first quarter:

A Word for Wypipo: a nightly talk show focusing on the ridiculously racist letters The Root receives in their inbox on the daily. Will air on NBC’s political channel, MSNBC (My Superpower Niggas Be Cappin’).

This Be Us: an emotional drama following two Very Smart Brothas on their journey to become the next Key & Peele.

America’s Got Mediocre Talent: a competition reality show where various performers compete to present the best representation of the real and true America, instead of the glossy version we’ve been taught to be proud of for many years.

Friday Night Live: a spinoff of comedy sketch show Saturday Night Live, because Friday night is when we just got paid.

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The above titles will air on The Root’s broadcast network platforms as well as its new streaming service, NBC Plus Max. The Root will also pivot to film production with the ultimate goal of creating a NCU (Nigga Cinematic Universe), starting with the first film of an expected lengthy franchise: Iron Mayne.

The Root is repped by CAA (Cookout Acceptance Association) and Joan Carol Clayton, Esq. brokered the deal.

Staff Writer, Entertainment at The Root. Sugar, spice & everything rice. Equipped with the uncanny ability to make a Disney reference and a double entendre in the same sentence.

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DISCUSSION

detroitkidelo
kidelo "drinking shots at Noon, 1/20/2021"

This is funny! I wonder if anyone has reached out to Negrodamus for 2021 predictions?

Also:

America’s Got Mediocre Talent: a competition reality show where various performers compete to present the best representation of the real and true America, instead of the glossy version we’ve been taught to be proud of for many years.

Bringing back the much missed comment: “(Sucks teeth) That bitch think she can sang.”