Terry Crews Gets Candid on Porn Addiction: 'I Knew I Had to Change'

Illustration for article titled Terry Crews Gets Candid on Porn Addiction: I Knew I Had to Change
Photo: Rachel Luna (Getty Images)

Despite his superhuman exterior, Terry Crews faces trials and tribulations like the rest of us. The sexual assault he suffered at the hands of William Morris Endeavor executive Adam Venit is well-documented, and throughout the years, he’s made no secret about his battles with porn addiction.

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On Sunday, during the latest episode of Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, the 50-year-old actor detailed the havoc that this addiction wreaked on his marriage and how he was able to persevere and overcome the hold it had on his life.

When asked at what point during his 30-year marriage did he realize he had a problem, the America’s Got Talent star was candid.

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“When my wife walked out. She was like, ‘I’m done with you.’” It was something that the porn use led to me being unfaithful years earlier,” he recalled. “And what happened was, after years of hiding and not saying anything, she confronted me. She was like, ‘What is it I don’t know about you, Terry Crews?’”

He goes on to explain how he came clean in order to properly address his struggles, only to cast blame and push his wife away.

“She was like, ‘That’s it. I’m out,’” he told Cohen. “And I was like, ‘Then go! Bye!’ And you know what happened? I was literally thinking, ‘My God. You know what? It’s her. It’s her fault.’ But you know what I realized? It was me.”

He then explained how he eventually admitted himself into rehab in order to “break this addiction” and that it was a “stronghold” that taught him that he had “learned a lot of wrong things,” before revealing that he and his wife are now better than ever.

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“We’re back together. We’re super strong,” he said. “You can’t keep secrets in a relationship.”

Crews came under fire in March for his heteronormative comments on same-sex couples raising children, but has since attempted to bounce back by attempting to clarify those statements and landing a gig as the new host of the popular NBC series America’s Got Talent.

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Addictions of any nature are no joke, so congrats to Crews for conquering his demons.

Menace to supremacy. Founder of Extraordinary Ideas and co-host and producer of The Extraordinary Negroes podcast. Impatiently waiting for ya'll to stop putting sugar in grits.

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DISCUSSION

Terry Crews is honest, open, vulnerable, and willing to step back when he hears feedback— and then reconsider, rethink, apologize, and keep learning. He is courage.

And it helps that he’s a Great Big Guy, physically manifesting buff, stereotypical masculinity. I’m grateful that given this, he can get the attention of men and boys and help them consider how to do all this hard reflecting and re-choosing as they make their way through all the left and right turns here in the human maze.

Our men and boys get a very raw deal in our society / patriarchy. For the first ten or so years of their adorable little child lives, they for the most part get to cry and feel raw and sad and helpless when that’s what the situation calls for. And then all of a sudden in approximately middle school, they learn from all sides of society including their own families that the crying time is over. NOW, there is only one “masculine” emotion: ANGER. All their sadness, confusion, anxiety, all the fear...has to be forced under pressure through that one, constricted nozzle.

Same time as this, they internalize the message that they are the “protectors” of women and the family. And then we tell them, “hey, you just aren’t sensitive enough! We’re all mad at you! You’re clueless about consent and everything else!”

Well, of course they are. And we who are women are subject to a similarly intense dosage of “feminine” conditioning, the flip side of the same toxic societal coin. While some bear more of the brunt of the consequences of the toxicity (women, kids, LGBTQIA, black people, brown people), i just hope we can all be humble enough to realize that we ALL are steeping in the same toxic brew and we all have recovery to do.

I raised a daughter and two boys. I have three granddaughters and a grandson. We’re not all in the same boat, but we’re buffeted by most of the same waves. When Terry Crews was “called out” for not always making perfect statements about “masculinity,” “single parenting,” and “same gender families,” this single mom thought, DAMN! but at least he put himself out there, and at least he continued to learn.