Terrence Howard Believes One Times One Equals Two and Is Counting on Us to Take Him Seriously

Terrence Howard attends the 71st Emmy Awards on September 22, 2019 in Los Angeles, California.
Photo: Frazer Harrison (Getty Images)

Beyoncé said she may not know much about algebra, but she knows that one plus one equals two! Terrence Howard, on the other hand, basically said, “fuck algebra.”

If there is one bit of knowledge I soaked up from the uselessly aggravating period of time I spent in Algebra class, it’s the Pythagorean Theorem. The “a^2 + b^2 = c^2” formula was drilled into our heads like a mathematical pledge of allegiance and I’ll never forget it, despite trying my (futile) best to avoid math and science at all costs. Of course, I’m still banking on the hope that it’ll one day be a question on Jeopardy. Speaking of which, you have to live forever, Alex Trebeck. ‘Dems the rules.

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Anyway…

Much like Deborah Cox asked of that strange man, how did we get here?!

Well, it all started in 2015 when Rolling Stone interviewed Howard.

As The Root previously reported:

As a student at Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, N.Y., Howard said, he questioned his professor because he didn’t think one times one equals one.

“How can it equal one?” Howard said. “If one times one equals one, that means that two is of no value because one times itself has no effect. One times one equals two because the square root of four is two, so what’s the square root of two? Should be one, but we’re told it’s two, and that cannot be.”

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Somewhere a fifth-grader (who is always smarter than you, according to that popular TV show of yore) is imploding with “well, actually” molecules and is jumping at the chance to say, “the square root of 2 is 1.41421356237.”

Howard’s quest to prove to the world that one times one actually equals two first got my attention when he appeared on The View a year ago.

Terrence Howard On The Square Root Of 2, ‘Hustle & Flow’ Meme, Mistaking Earthquake For Demon / The View (YouTube)

Cut to Sunday on the red carpet for the 71st Primetime Emmy Awards and Howard is not only questioning why he’s getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (Tuesday!) before he received an Emmy, but also the very discoveries that Pythagoras searched for.

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The result is one of the most bizarre interviews in the history of audio feeds.

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“I was able to open up the flower of life and find the real wave conjugations that we’ve been looking for, for 10,000 years,” Howard told the visibly perplexed KTLA reporters. “Why would I continue walking on water for tips when I’ve got an entire generation to teach a whole new world?”

The 50-year-old actor then dropped another mathematical bomb, claiming that straight lines didn’t exist. Have we unlocked the true gay agenda?!

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“All energy in the universe is expressed in motion, all motion is expressed in waves, all waves are curved, so where does the straight lines come from to make the platonic solids?” he continued. “There are no straight lines. So, when I took the flower of life and opened it properly, I found a whole new world of wave conjugations that expose the in-between spaces thatit’s the thing that holds us all together.”

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Additionally, Howard is on a mission “to prove that gravity is only an effect, not a force.” He will supplement this claim with upcoming experiments on YouTube.

“I’m putting something on YouTube where I will build the planet Saturn without gravityand build the Milky Way Galaxy without gravity,” he confirmed.

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As Empire comes to a conclusion after its sixth season, Howard plans to bow out of acting.

“I spent 37 years pretending to be people so that people can pretend to watch and enjoy what I’m doing,” Howard noted.

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Wow. Yeah, not even Lee Daniels could make up this whole bit.

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About the author

Tonja Renée Stidhum

Staff Writer, Entertainment at The Root. Sugar, spice & everything rice. Equipped with the uncanny ability to make a Disney reference and a double entendre in the same sentence.