On Your Way to Meet the Grand Wizard of Oz, You’re Bound to Run Into Silver Kanye

Kanye West
Kanye West
Screenshot: TMZ (YouTube)

Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Old Kanye anymore...and we haven’t been for a while.

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At his recent Sunday Service performance of his nativity-themed opera “Mary” at Miami Marine Stadium, Kanye decided to arrive fully donned in silver, from his robes to his skin. No word if Kirk Franklin arrived in gold to complete the package.

People reports:

West’s performance, starring his “Sunday Service Collective,” was directed by Vanessa Beecroft. The show kicked off an hour late, likely due [to] logistics because the stadium could only be reached by boat. For their performance, the choir was dressed in silver robes and silver face paint.

Performers acted out 12 biblical scenes during the show and the audience was given programs to help them follow along. The programs included sketches, titles and some lyrics from the acts which progressed from Gabriel visiting Mary to Mary’s pregnancy to the birth of Jesus and the prophecy. West’s hits including “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” and “Love Lockdown” were sung by the choir [during] some scenes, while religious hymns like “Gloria in Excelsis Deo” and “Gabriel’s Aria” were performed in others.

“Kanye narrated the whole thing, then came out in full face paint and the silver robe,” Sam Baum, owner of the new disco club Minnie’s in Wynwood, Florida, tells PEOPLE.

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Naturally, everyone on Twitter recognized a popular character as the inspiration behind Kanye’s getup—the Tin-Man in the 1939 classic, The Wizard of Oz.

And even more naturally, this sparked my wild imagination. And so, I present to you, the synopsis for The Grand Wizard of Oz.

Candace Owens and her dog Twitter avatar (no, not an actual dog, just the chosen avatar by ultra-conservative patriotic white men, only second to the American flag avatar) are swept up in a hurricane caused by an orange tyrant and suddenly crash onto the land of Oz. After being welcomed by a group of exuberant and musically talented pixies named the MAGAkins, Candace sets off on the red brick road to meet the Grand Wizard of Oz so that she can get back to her capitalist home. On the way, she meets the ScaryCrow, who lacks the wherewithal to not call the police every time she sees a black person in her vicinity. Then, there’s the Lying Lahren Lion, who carries a bucket full of white woman tears behind her “tell it like it is” courage. But, the true climax comes when she meets Silver Kanye, a heartless shrill with secret plans on opening a megachurch. Together, the three amigos face countless adversaries such as the Wicked Witch of the Left, Elizabeth Warren, but ultimately reach their destination at the end, the White Supremacy House (shout-out to the big musical number, “A Horse of a Different Colored Skin”).

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Spoiler Alert: The man behind the curtain is a MAGA troll who spends his time writing David Duke fanfic and harassing black women online.  

The Grand Wizard of Oz, coming to segregated theaters in August 1619.

Staff Writer, Entertainment at The Root. Sugar, spice & everything rice. Equipped with the uncanny ability to make a Disney reference and a double entendre in the same sentence.

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DISCUSSION

detroitkidelo
kidelo *if you support racists, you're a racist too*

Imma drop a house on all those assholes and give Lizzo the shoes. The End.