Love the Way You Troll: Rihanna Teases Us Yet Again With the Possibility of New Music

Rihanna attends the Fenty Beauty by Rihanna Anniversary Event on October 3, 2018 in Sydney, Australia.
Rihanna attends the Fenty Beauty by Rihanna Anniversary Event on October 3, 2018 in Sydney, Australia.
Photo: Caroline McCredie for Fenty Beauty by Rihanna (Getty Images)

First things first: Rest in peace to my expectations. They’re gone. RIP. They’re no more; they’ve left the building. At least, that’s the case where Rihanna’s new music is concerned.

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You see, I told y’all some time ago—I was done expecting musical things aka an album from Rih, especially when news dropped that she would be releasing a Caribbean cuisine-inspired cookbook. That said, with her latest trolling, I’mma just sit back, relax, re-apply my Fenty Gloss Bomb, get my edges ready for this Fenty Hair and revisit ANTI. (Since that’s the only full project she’s since felt so inclined to bless us with. Damn, do I sound bothered? I sound kinda bothered, don’t I? Let me chill.)

Speaking of ANTI, the 8th studio album from our Barbadian bad gal recently hit a major milestone. According to People, it’s now the first album by a Black woman artist to spend five years on the Billboard 200 chart. Rihanna Navy, standup! Celebrating the achievement in a video posted to social media, Rih captioned:

“Grateful to the most High for putting die hard supporters in my circle. #Anti #WomensHistoryMonth. Congrats to everyone that contributed to this era, thank you team.”

But of course in true Navy fashion, the celebration couldn’t just stay focused on ANTI for too long. “Celebrate by releasing a song,” one fan wrote. To which Rih replied, “I think I should soon, just one tho lol.”

Now girl. Why are you playing games on our phones like this? We all know that “soon” ain’t a date on the calendar. You ain’t slick. And as if that wasn’t enough, when another fan commented “ R9 is what we need,” per NME the Diamonds singer retorted: “Lemme have my moment nuuuhhh??? Lol”

*Deep, heavy Barbadian sigh*

Truth is, I’m tired. At this point, because Rih’s trolling skills are legendary and she’s hella busy building her empire, I really don’t know what to believe. All I know is that whenever—if ever—she decides to drop another project, I’ll be here. Waiting. Once again.

DISCUSSION

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Keep pushing, internet, and Riri will release her next album as a visual piece on someone’s face, made out of her own products, to be sold for $10 million, in the next phase of the album-based insanity the Wu-Tang started.

Maybe Elon Musk’s crazy ass will unintentionally fall into another massive, undeserved bag once the record industry goes full Face/Off, where people are stealing each other’s faces just trying to get a taste of R9!