Leave Malia Obama the Hell Alone and Let Her Enjoy Life (and Facebook)

Illustration for article titled Leave Malia Obama the Hell Alone and Let Her Enjoy Life (and Facebook)em/em
Photo: POOL (GETTY IMAGES)

Malia Obama continues to be photographed minding her black-ass business—this time, the 20-year-old college student was seen drinking out of a bottle of rosé during a weekend spent in Miami with friends.

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Shudder at the thought of a bottle of rosé being in Miami, which is obviously the epicenter for wholesome good times and mild-mannered frivolity. In college at this age, I was drinking Everclear and E&J, so I have to commend Malia for having taste at such a young age. (Editor’s note: We hear the brand was the highly rated Whispering Angel, so yes.)

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British tabloid the Daily Mail gleefully ran the story on the “underage” Obama on Sunday, followed by a second installment on Monday featuring screenshots from Malia’s long dormant personal Facebook account filled with anti-Trump sentiments.

An Obama displeased with Trump’s administration? It’s like florals in Spring: groundbreaking. The tabloid posted private images from her clearly not-so-secret Facebook account that described Donald Trump as evil—basically just duplicating her account for clicks.

Is Malia Obama being a regular young adult really newsworthy? One would think Flint has clean water by this point.

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If Malia was a privileged white man she would have a promising future as SCOTUS.

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The only true story here is that as previously (and repeatedly) noted, Malia probably needs better friends, because only a “friend” would have access to her private pages. It’s time to do some vetting.

Malia shouldn’t be chastised for living life as a private citizen. I mean, she’s a college student and no longer a resident of the White House. It’s not like she lied to the American people and got in bed with Russia.

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Chief Beyoncé Content Officer @ TheRoot. I aspire to be as steadfast & unmovable as Solange's wig. Former President of Hogwart's Black Student Union.

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DISCUSSION

whatamithinking
whatamithinking

We’ve all lived such lives, it’s almost a ritual in terms of aging, Barack had his times too. The difference being, the spotlight is always on her.

Here’s the question that’s gonna get me in trouble: do the Obama kids, especially Malia, have any black friends?