Remember when Tyra Banks spoke for America and bellowed a “We were all rooting for you!” cry to America’s Next Top Model contestant Tiffany? Today, let’s direct that energy to one Mr. Terry Crews.
In 2017, Terry bravely opened up about an alleged incident in which William Morris Executive Adam Venit groped him at a Hollywood party. His story was an integral part of Tarana Burke’s #MeToo Movement, especially given the optics of the story coming from a physically large black man.
As news circulated around his story, an infantry of “Where’s My Hug” Twitter enthusiasts took a break from wasting precious shea-buttering time to harass the latest black feminist on their radar, diving into Crews’ mentions wondering aloud why he didn’t just beat this rich and powerful white man’s ass. You know, in the same America which executes black men for simply sitting in their car and lawfully declaring themselves as a gun owner. The toxic masculinity jumped out.
But Terry had all the time for these ashen pillocks. He rightfully shot down their “boiiiii if that were me, I woulda ...” claims, as we all know half of them don’t even stand up to their bosses at the call center. If they’re so (hypothetically) buck, Crews asked, how bout they pivot their knuck his way? What’s that you hear? The furious typing sounds of thumb-thuggery with no real-life follow-through? Cute. So, he offered them a classic invite: say it to his face.
There was even that time he testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee to speak out against toxic masculinity in support of a bill dedicated to sexual assault survivors.
Terry was really doing the work. Then, we moseyed on over to where we are now—and the dichotomy between that Terry and today’s Terry is appalling, to say the least.
Recently, Terry appeared on The View to expand on his support of a now-deleted tweet in reference to a father providing the “confidence” Terry agrees all children need. In the discussion, he noted that there’s only certain things fathers can provide, similar to things only mothers can provide.
“I’ve reiterated many times that same sex couples and single parents can successfully raise a child,” Terry noted, in reply to a tweeter who implored that he listen to those attempting to educate him on why his comment was problematic. “But I believe paternal AND maternal love are like vitamins and minerals to humanity. No matter where you get that paternal and maternal love. MY purpose is to give paternal love.”
The 50-year-old actor was subsequently called out for his comment; specifically, for its heteronormative and patriarchal slant. In the interim, Terry apologized for the ignorance displayed, particularly how his comments negatively affected those within the LGBTQIA community.
Still, Terry seemed to take the many attempts to educate him as an attack from “#WokeTwitter” and followed up with this tweet:
Oh, a safe space for straight black men to talk their trashiness unchecked, where they can happily remain underdeveloped and unlearned? You mean other than knee-deep in the ashen asshole of the latest, loudest Toxic Twitter Father? (You know who they are.) Hasn’t this “safe space” been the barbershop, historically? Hmm, probably not, since those “short hair don’t care” bitches started getting fades, amirite?
Cue the tiniest violin in the symphony of gender and sexuality-based oppressors. Want to pencil in a meeting to channel your anger at the fact that oppressive groups get to have safe spaces in a world that caters to you anyway? Try November!
Then, on Tuesday, this happened:
“I’d like to also apologize to the black men that were hurt by my comments regarding a lack of support regarding my sexual assault,” the actor tweeted. “Truth is, if it had not happened to me, I would have been suspicious and doubtful too.”
Wait, you mean the same group of black men who revictimized you when you bravely came forward about your sexual assault story? This ain’t it, Terry. This. Ain’t. It.
At the time of this article’s posting, Terry posted an idiom that may or may not be in relation to what he’s experienced on Twitter these past few days, but given the previous back-and-forth, there’s no telling whether the message will stick. He has more work to do; that part is evident.
There’s a reason why black women routinely say black men don’t want true equality, and that they only want to inherit the oppressive power of white men. Your pro-blackness is useless if it’s to the detriment of black women, the black LGBTQIA community or any other black person who doesn’t specifically identify as a cis-heteronormative black male.
Sigh. The patriarchy brand is strong, and toxic masculinity is its weapon. I really hope, with every single day that goes by, we’re one step closer to dismantling the fuck out of it.