Kristen Stewart attends the photocall of the Chanel Metiers d’art 2019-2020 show on Dec. 4, 2019, in Paris, France.
Kristen Stewart attends the photocall of the Chanel Metiers d’art 2019-2020 show on Dec. 4, 2019, in Paris, France.
Photo: Pascal Le Segretain (Getty Images)

In a dystopian world where no other actress exists, Kristen Stewart has been named Actress of the Decade by the Hollywood Critics Association (HCA).

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“We at the HCA are proud to announce that Kristen Stewart will receive the Actress of the Decade Award at our ceremony on January 9, 2020,” The HCA tweeted from their official account on “Stewart’s impressive filmography includes Seberg, Personal Shopper, Clouds of Sils Maria, The Runaways, and Charlie’s Angels.”

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Notice how they didn’t include her most notable claim to fame, Twilight. Because we, including the HCA, know damn well there’s nothing “impressive” (or “filmography” for that matter) about that turn of events. Sure, Stewart went on to prove she could step away from the fanfare saga with more independent roles, but actress of the decade?! Come on.

Hmm. According to the HCA’s official website:

The primary goal of the Hollywood Critics Association is to bring together a passionate group of critics to represent the voices of a new era in Hollywood. Our focus has always been to connect a diverse group of critics who capture the viewpoints of all backgrounds, not only in Hollywood but across the United States and abroad.

Diversity is incredibly important in film criticism and the HCA wants to make sure that all voices are represented within our group. In addition, we wanted to embrace critics who found new ways to criticize film whether that be through vlogs, webcasts, podcasts, or social media. New media is here to stay and so is the HCA.

Yeahhhh, I’m going to need the statistics of this “diverse” group to make sense of this. Hell, actually, it may be worse if a group rich with black critics and other critics of color all came together and picked Kristen when again, Viola Davis exists.

We’re talking about the same Viola Davis who did the unthinkable and stole a scene from the Meryl Streep in Doubt. The same Viola Davis who is well on her way to becoming a working actor with EGOT status (why yes, she should win a Grammy for narrating an audiobook, have you listened to any of her award acceptance speeches ever in life?!)

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The HCA was formerly known as the Los Angeles Online Film Critics Society (LAOFCS). After a much-deserved dragging by Black Twitter, perhaps it’s time for yet another alias?

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“This tweet proves the point that there are always multiple people who deserve an award,” the HCA Twitter account responded to one of the many criticisms it received. “Lupita [Nyong’o] had 10 films, Margot [Robbie] had 17, Emma [Stone] had 18, Amy [Adams] had 16 and Kristen had 21. Each one of these actresses are incredibly talented and are all ideal candidates for this award. They will more than likely be awarded in future ceremonies.”

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So, wait, the criteria (another thing I’d love to know!) was based on the number of credits during this decade? In that case, Jenifer Lewis and Loretta Divine deserve a Lifetime Achievement Award from the HCA, right?

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Anyway, I will not have this utter disrespect of the G.O.A.T. known as Viola Davis. I said I will not have it, oh!

“I don’t know her,” Viola’s Snot Bubble, the acclaimed supporting actor, told The Root in response to the HCA’s decision.

Staff Writer, Entertainment at The Root. Sugar, spice & everything rice. Equipped with the uncanny ability to make a Disney reference and a double entendre in the same sentence.

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