Here's Some ASMR For White Liberals to Help Assuage Some of That Pesky White Guilt

Illustration for article titled Here's Some ASMR For White Liberals to Help Assuage Some of That Pesky White Guilt
Photo: Khosrork (iStock), Koldunova_Anna (iStock )

*Cue infomercial music* Do you often dream of caressing your black coworker’s hair without permission, but feel (kind of) bad about it? Are you still feeling residual stomach pains from that time you told a black friend you actually loved Green Book, despite their screwface in response?


Well, comedian-actor Randall Otis is here to help you!

With his new video, ASMR For White Liberals, you can put that post-racially anxious mind at ease!

Making his contribution to the latest therapeutic pastime known as ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response), Randall’s soothing whispery voice is just the remedial cure to that agonizing affliction known as “white guilt.”

Not only does he assure you that you’re not “being weird” for wanting credit based on basic human decency, he offers the sounds of the very trophy you deserve! Yas, qween of anti-racism!

Thanks, Randall! Hey, members of the Caucasian persuasion, you can probably call Randall your “black friend” now. Oh, who am I kidding—you already have!


So, sit back, grab a nice slice of avocado toast and watch Crash for the 48395th time in peace and harmony. We love you.

(Seriously. This video is fucking hilarious and brilliant and I can’t stop watching it. Thanks, Randall. For real.)

Staff Writer, Entertainment at The Root. Sugar, spice & everything rice. Equipped with the uncanny ability to make a Disney reference and a double entendre in the same sentence.


I hollered when he started rubbing his hair on the mircrophone lol