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Usually when it comes to Halloween and terrible candy/snackage, candy corn, which can really only be the work of the devil, usually (and rightly) gets the hardest of the disses.

But there is a dark horse in the race for worst Halloween candy. It flies under the radar mostly, I think, because no one actually eats that shit. And that is black licorice.

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At least, I thought no one ate black licorice—until the FDA found it prudent to issue an advisory about eating too much of the “candy,” which is a word we use very, very, very, very loosely.

According to Baltimore’s WMAR-TV, the FDA is cautioning anyone over the age of 40 not to eat more than 2 ounces of black licorice a day, which is equal to about three 1-inch pieces.

To hear the story told, if you eat more than that over the next couple of weeks (why?!), you could end up in the hospital with an irregular heart rhythm because of a compound found in the demon black straw that causes potassium levels to fall.

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But I’m still stuck on the fact that anyone, regardless of age, is eating black licorice. Don’t you love yourself? What happened to you in your life that would cause you to reach for black licorice over Snickers or a Kit Kat or Starburst—or the hundreds, if not thousands, of other good candies and chocolates that are in existence? Who hurt you?

It’s no wonder your body has decided to fight back and turn on you, if you willingly ingest that black, strawlike epitome of death.

There are a lot of things that we, as adults, often question after a solid Halloween weekend:

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Did we really put ourselves in the position to take another walk of shame?

Did we really think that 500 shots of vodka were necessary?

Did we really have to dress up as Sexy Bert and/or Sexy Ernie?

Did we really eat 2 pounds of chocolate in one sitting, as if we’re 10 and our bodies can still process that shit?

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But there is no reason that we should add the ingestion of black licorice (or candy corn, for that matter) to our questionable, blasphemous behavior.