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In a move that proves she actually doesn’t dance no more because she is too busy making money moves, rapper, reality star and our crazy cousin from the Bronx, N.Y., has announced that she has signed a record deal with Sony/ATV.

In an Instagram post Tuesday, the “Bodak Yellow” writer (although I continue to believe that the lyrics of the song were never written down) announced the deal, adding a Shakespearean comment: “[W]hen eaters be poppin shit under my comments like oooo ‘she don’t write her shit’ sooo how I got a publishing deal then? !!!!😂😂😩...Too much mufuckas done doubted me that’s why I have to just prove it 😈💕 .”


I’m pretty sure she meant “haters” and not “eaters,” but who am I to say? Maybe people type negative contents while consuming Krispy Kreme doughnuts under Cardi B’s social media posts. There’s no way to tell.

In a statement, Sony/ATV’s senior director, Jennifer Drake, said:

Cardi B is honest, real and refreshing and has the confidence to say exactly what she is thinking and feeling. It’s tangible and you can connect to that. We are so proud to be able to work with a talented artist like Cardi and excited to see her push the culture forward.


The statement from Sony/ATV (and I swear this is true) quoted Cardi B as saying: “Oooo, I’m so happy to be with my new family Sony/ATV. ‘Bodak Yellow’ is only the beginning and we’re just getting started.” I wonder who made the executive decision on how many O’s to use.

Cardi B’s single spent three weeks atop the Billboard 100, and Sony/ATV says it has more than 500,000 digital-download sales. She is also the author of one of my favorite quotes. In explaining why she would never talk to police, who she alleged put her in an illegal choke hold, she said: “It’s just like ... you guys be lying ... and this is why I don’t talk to y’all. Cuz you guys be lying.”


In all fairness to Cardi B ...

They do be lying.

Fucking eaters.