Photo: Jessica Griffin-Pool (Getty Images)

Last week, Bill Cosby was found guilty of three counts of aggravated indecent assault during his retrial on sexual assault and drugging charges in Pennsylvania, and the 80-year-old now faces up to 10 years in jail. But in today’s standing-by-her-man news, his wife, Camille Cosby, wrote a three-page statement about the guilty verdict her Quaalude-dropping husband received and says that Andrea Constand, his accuser, lied.

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In a statement to the media Thursday, Camille Cosby wrote:

Three criminal charges, promised during an unethical campaign for the district attorney’s office, were filed against my husband … all based on what I believe to be a falsified account by the newly elected district attorney’s key witness. I firmly believe her recent testimony during trial was perjured; as was shown at trial, it was unsupported by any evidence and riddled with innumerable, dishonest contradictions. Moreover, Bill Cosby’s defense team introduced the testimony of a witness who confirmed that the district attorney’s witness admitted that she had not been sexually assaulted, but that she could say she was and get money … which is exactly what she did.

I guess it’s hard to imagine being married to a man for more than 50 years and finding out that, throughout those years, he was spiking other women’s drinks with drugs because he’s into somnophilia. But if more than 60 women accused your husband of the same exact crime, wouldn’t you tell him to pack his pudding pops and cardigans and leave?

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Toward the end of her statement, Camille Cosby invoked her “mob justice” take:

This is a homogenous group of exploitive and corrupt people, whose primary purpose is to advance themselves professionally and economically at the expense of Mr. Cosby’s life. This is mob justice, not real justice. This tragedy must be undone not just for Bill Cosby, but for the country.

Girl, bye. Tell Bill to make sure he makes nice with those people in prison who went around stealing soda and shooting people in the back of the head because of pound cake.

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Read Camille Cosby’s full statement here (pdf).