No one woman should have all this power.
Is it “Déjà Vu,” or Voodoo? The Illuminati or “Crazy in Love”? (Or “Dangerously in Love?” or “Drunk in Love?”) That’s what we’re wondering, after hearing about some truly bizarre allegations by Beyoncé’s former drummer, Kimberly Thompson. As reported by the Blast, Thompson, who claims to have been a member of the singer’s band for seven years, recently requested a restraining order against Beyoncé, claiming the star practices “extreme witchcraft.”
If so, that would explain a lot about the Beyhive, but according to the request—which was denied by a judge — Beyoncé allegedly used“dark magic” and “magic spells of sexual molestation” to surveil Thompson by taping her phone, controlling her finances, and harassing her.
Thompson also reportedly alleged that Beyoncé murdered her kitten, though details of that death were not disclosed in the suit.
Though neither Beyoncé’s team nor Thompson’s returned requests for comment by The Blaze or Page Six (which also reported the story), it has been confirmed that Thompson is a multi-instrumentalist who was, at one point, a member of Beyoncé’s acclaimed all-female band. The Blast also posted a now-deleted YouTube video of Thompson in which she talks about “mean people.”
(Editor’s note: Hopefully, someone has offered Thompson some sage — whether it is advice or herb — to ward off this “extreme witchcraft,” which one can only assume is like regular witchcraft, but is done while Beyonce performs 360-degree somersaults on a broom. — Michael Harriot)
But all jokes aside, we sincerely hope Beyoncé is not dabbling in the dark arts—and that Thompson is getting any support and solace she may need.