Greetings, big sister Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter. Dean of Pledges. Snatcher of Edges. Wearer of Bundles.
On April 15, 2018, Beyoncé scalped America bald when she gave the blackest performance Coachella has ever seen.
Since 1999, the music festival has had many artists perform on its stage, but it has never had a QUEEN. Until now. Opening with the iconic “Crazy in Love,” Beyoncé made history by becoming the first black woman to headline the event.
Being a member of the #Beyhive is stressful, because with that membership comes the knowledge that Beyoncé has nary a piece of respect for your time or sleep schedules. As such, her performance aired after 2 a.m. on the East Coast. Admittedly, because I am washed, I gave Giselle a strong side-eye for this late-ass start-time, but she did not disappoint.
Equipped with an army of dancers and a marching band that could have been picked from any historically black college, Beyoncé hit this once melanin-deficient stage and gave a sea of Caucasians a performance that was unapologetically black AF and made us all pledge our allegiance to Beta Delta Kappa!
The mother of three, who undoubtedly has vibranium in her lungs, didn’t miss a beat and kept us entertained for two-plus hours. The Queen reminded us that she has vocal chops, because not once did her voice waver. She transported us to many places during her show—from the 3rd Ward of Houston to the mean streets of Brooklyn, N.Y., and beyond.
In addition to her fierce vocal prowess, Beyoncé proved the rumors true and brought two decades of fineness to the stage with a reunited Destiny’s Child. The reunion brought Black History Month to April, and henceforth we will be celebrating all year. Not only did she surprise with Destiny’s Child, but the Queen also had a family reunion when she and Solange dropped it low to “Get Me Bodied,” yet another notable moment in black history. She also brought out her husband, Jay-Z, but that’s neither here nor there. It was cute.
For two-plus hours, Miss Bey transformed Coachella from Woodstock to a baby Essence Festival, and she will rise again and perform during the second weekend of the festival.
Yes, that’s right—there’s more Beyoncé to come, and we as people really aren’t worthy of the greatness that is to be expected from a living LEGEND. There is no possible comparison to a woman who can give you a full-on SHOW for that long. Your fave never could because everybody ain’t able.
For those of you who missed the greatness that was Beychella, you’re in luck, because YouTube will be blessing you with her performance at 12 noon EDT (catch it while you can!).