I Read Kanye West's Interview About His 'Presidency' So You Don't Have To

Illustration for article titled I Read Kanye Wests Interview About His Presidency So You Dont Have To
Photo: ANGELA WEISS/AFP (Getty Images)

Well, folks, I’m back with another edition of this. If you missed my first article in this *now series* (because people keep giving this man a platform to speak instead of getting him help), I do this because I have been a big fan of Kanye West’s music since I was about 11 years old. It tapered off during the Yeezus era, and while there have been a few songs in his catalog in recent years that I’ve enjoyed, I don’t discuss him at all post-2015.

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Really. Not at all.

I personally don’t think anyone should be giving Kanye any attention, and talking about him or making fun of him instead of encouraging him to get help doesn’t do anyone any favors. As a former fan, I’ve done a very good job of not viewing much about this “presidential run” over the last few days for my own sanity. However, I’ve got a job to do, dammit, and if that means destroying my wellbeing while doing it, it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Kraft singles don’t just magically appear in the fridge.

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Today, Forbes (who must love those clicks from exploitation!) released a new interview: “Kanye West Says He’s Done With Trump—Opens Up About White House Bid, Damaging Biden And Everything In Between.” I read it so you don’t have to.

Well...here we go. I do it for the fans.


8:28 a.m. ET: The reason Kanye’s announcement for a 2020 run was so delayed was because of issues pertaining to COVID-19. Nevertheless, he is “speaking with experts, I’m going to speak with Jared Kushner, the White House, with Biden.” He has no campaign platform because why would he? This isn’t real.

8:29 a.m. ET: HIS ADVISORS ARE KIM KARDASHIAN AND ELON MUSK. Chile, is it too early for mimosas? I haven’t eaten yet but I need something.

8:29 a.m. ET: Contrary to his announcement hashtag, the campaign slogan is not #2020VISION, but “YES!” and his running mate is “Michelle Tidball, an obscure preacher from Wyoming.”

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8:30 a.m. ET: Get this, gang: his party is the Birthday Party. Why? “Because when we win, it’s everybody’s birthday.”

Fuck the mimosas, I’ve got Bacardi in the freezer. May be better.

8:31 a.m. ET: West says he no longer supports Trump because he hid in his bunker while Black Lives Matter protests were going on around D.C.

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Really? Hiding in a bunker? That was the straw that broke the camel’s back?

8:32 a.m. ET: “I’m not saying Trump’s in my way, he may be a part of my way. And Joe Biden? Like come on man, please. You know? Obama’s special. Trump’s special. We say Kanye West is special. America needs special people that lead. Bill Clinton? Special. Joe Biden’s not special.”

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Fun fact: Trump has only been called “special” once, after receiving a participation ribbon in fourth-grade gym class after he failed to climb the rope. He cheated on that, by the way, paying a small loan of a million dollars to a child he wanted to climb the rope in his name.

8:34 a.m. ET: Kanye says that if Trump wasn’t a Republican, he would have run Republican. But the Birthday Party is...a winner, baby.

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8:35 a.m. ET: “Trump is the closest president we’ve had in years to allowing God to still be part of the conversation.”

If you could have just heard the noise that came out of my mouth. It wasn’t really a laugh, it was like a weird guffaw/chortle hybrid. I’m not sure what it was, and I’m not sure what West’s statement was either. Sure wasn’t the truth.

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8:36 a.m. ET: “One of the main reasons I wore the red hat as a protest to the segregation of votes in the Black community. Also, other than the fact that I like Trump hotels and the saxophones in the lobby.”

I like the mints that you get at Denny’s when you walk in, but you won’t find me sporting a Denny’s cap.

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8:37 a.m. ET: According to Mr. West, if you say that “all Black people” need to be Democrats, it’s “a form of racism and white supremacy.” Same if you say West running “is splitting the vote.” He is basing it on his alleged threats as a celebrity of being forced into the Democratic Party. Another thing to note in this section of the article is that West says he *just* registered to vote the day he spoke to Forbes for this interview.

So...do with that what you will.

8:40 a.m. ET: “Let’s see if the appointing is at 2020 or if it’s 2024—because God appoints the president. If I win in 2020 then it was God’s appointment. If I win in 2024 then that was God’s appointment.”

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I just texted God, actually. He said to leave him out of it.

8:42 a.m. ET: While he said he contracted COVID-19 in February, West says he is “extremely cautious” about a COVID-19 vaccine, because vaccines are “the mark of the beast.”

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“They want to put chips inside of us, they want to do all kinds of things, to make it where we can’t cross the gates of heaven,” he says.

8:45 a.m. ET: Kanye reveals he decided to announce his run for President while in the shower getting ready for the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards. I mean, that’s where all my ideas start, too. But for the most part, they’re pretty good ideas.

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8:55 a.m. ET: Took a break to wash my face and cry a little.

8:56 a.m. ET: “I have to say with all humility that as a man, I don’t have all of the pieces in the puzzle. As I speak to you for what a political campaign—a political walk, as I told you, because I’m not running, I’m walking. I’m not running, we the people are walking. We’re not running anymore, we’re not running, we’re not excited—we are energized, Someone can say, ‘Hey, I got a brand new car for you, it’s across the street and you get so excited you run across the street and get hit by a car trying to run to your new car. That’s how they control the Black community, through emotions, they get us excited, we’re so excited, but then for 400 years the change doesn’t truly happen.”

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Okay, so now, I’m really starting to get upset. This ranting and raving is clearly coming from someone who needs true help from people who know how to help, not from people who are insulating him and encouraging this. A lot of this is worse than the previous GQ article and interview, and I’m not happy to read this at all.

8:56 a.m. ET: He said he’s interested in “tearing up the Constitution” and...that’s a sentence that pleases me so.

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8:57 a.m. ET: “Oh one other thing, Black History Month. That is torture porn because when that comes up what we do is we see—and by the way, if I get that vibe—that’s the process and we are going to a beautiful, uplifting, fun, creative process as a people, as America collectively, and show the world how great we are. So here we go. Black History Month every year they gotta remind us about the fact that we couldn’t vote, they meaning white supremacy construct, and I said that with the CT at the end, I knew what was I was talking about…Our minds are so much more infinite than what’s coming across TikTok or Instagram, what’s trying to influence our children and the next generation of who we are.”

Never mind. Back to being upset.

8:59 a.m. ET: Kanye West is now discussing that he is going to use the “Wakanda framework” during his time in the White House.

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“...Like in the movie in Wakanda when the king went to visit that lead scientist to have the shoes wrap around her shoes. Just the amount of innovation that can happen, the amount of innovation in medicine—like big pharma—we are going to work, innovate, together,” he says. “This is not going to be some Nipsey Hussle being murdered, they’re doing a documentary, we have so many soldiers that die for our freedom, our freedom of information, that there is a cure for AIDS out there, there is going to be a mix of big pharma and holistic.”

I have no more words.

9:01 a.m. ET: When he is “President,” Kanye West says that he will create stronger ties with China, and that it is not China’s fault that the coronavirus spread. He actually lived there for a time with his mother Dr. Donda West, who was teaching abroad. I often wonder how things would be different if she were still here. Rest in Peace.

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9:04 a.m. ET: Other policies: dismantling police brutality, ending the death penalty, and cleaning up the chemicals in our soap and deodorant.


Well...you read it here, folks. The whole damn article. Please make sure to register to vote and vote in November for who is actually going to do something. I also strongly urge everyone to also read my article about the importance of supporting those with mental illnesses while in quarantine.

Pronounced "Jay-nuh."

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DISCUSSION

His ramblings remind me of those of my late uncle, who was a paranoid schizophrenic. Not saying that Kanye is a paranoid schizophrenic, but mental health issues are definitely present.