President Barack Obama (not “former”—he’s still my president, damn it) gave a lovingly beautiful speech in a video congratulating Jay Z for his selection as a Hall of Fame writer.
As the first hip-hop artist inducted into the prestigious Songwriters Hall of Fame, Hov must have felt honored to be in a class that includes Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, Berry Gordy, and some white people you’ve never heard of. Mr. Z was so delighted, he went on a tweet storm Thursday night, thanking a host of influences and inspirations. (And Jay Z hardly ever tweets because—unlike our turd-monster president—he understands subtlety and restraint.)
He promised his followers that he wasn’t drunk, but after thanking damn near every dope rapper on the planet, Beyoncé’s baby daddy shouted out “the greatest rapper of all time”:
Jay shared a video of Obama explaining the friendship and admiration between the two intergalactic superstars. Calling Jigga a “first-ballot Hall of Famer,” Obama talked about the special connection between the two men, noting that neither came from money, neither had a father in his life, both have wives who are more popular, no one expected them to rise to the levels they achieved and both were “fools for their daughters.”
Michelle’s baby daddy also spoke about how much of a fan he was of S-Dot’s music, reminding everyone that as president, he used Jay’s lyrics in his speeches, including his address at the 50th anniversary of Bloody Sunday in Selma, Ala.
OK, I think we’ve covered all the nicknames for Shawn Carter. I was going to write another paragraph or so asking Jay Z who the hell gave him the idea to post a link to his Dropbox, because there’s this new breed of cyberhacker dudes who will create a backdoor to your computer and download all the Beyoncé pics on your hard drive, but wait ... I think I have misreported something in the second paragraph; let me check.
Nope, it seems to be correct. Could you please excuse me while I go on a brief rant?
HOW THE HELL WAS BERRY GORDY NOT ALREADY IN THE SONGWRITERS HALL OF FAME? He founded Motown! Do you even know what “founded” means? How can there be a Hall of Fame that recognizes music and not have Motown in it?
Let me guess: It’s filled with busts of the Beatles, Elvis and all the other white people who became legends by stealing black music, taking it to sock hops and making teenage white girls dance to it. If Gordy wasn’t in the Hall of Fame, then it wasn’t a Hall of Fame. It was a “Hall of A’ight Muhfuckas.”
Gordy should be in the Hall of Fame even if he never wrote a single song. And not just the Songwriters HOF. He should be in the Music Hall of Fame. The Business Hall of Fame. The Baseball Hall of Fame. All. Of. Them.
Did I mention that he founded Motown? That’s right up there with, “I was president for four years and gave America health care!”
I’m not saying Gordy is more important than Obama, but ... you know what? Yes, I am. I’m saying it. Berry Gordy is more important than Barack Obama. I’m sorry, but did anyone in Obama’s administration write anything as good as “Shop Around”? If his secretary of housing and urban development did anything that compares to “I’ll Be There” or “ABC,” let me know. Even though Obama’s Cabinet was competent, it doesn’t compare to Gordy’s discovery of talent like Smokey Robinson, the Temptations, Michael Jackson, Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye.
Not to mention, Babyface and Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis are just now getting in. What were they doing over there at the Songwriters Hall of Fame? You know what? I’m starting to rethink this whole “prestigious” part of this honor. This looks like the first time this ceremony will have any flavor, but the music at the after-party is gonna be lit!
The Songwriters Hall of Fame has yet to contact Lil Uzi Vert.
View Obama’s congratulations video below.
Click here for the entire list of Songwriters Hall of Fame inductees.