Newville, Pa., Police Department

Remember the “Drunk Lives Matter” T-shirts being sold for St. Patrick’s Day last month? I remember it quite well, especially since I laughed about it and thought, “Who would actually wear that shirt?” To answer that question, meet Elwood R. Gutshall III of Newville, Pa.

Gutshall, 44, was charged with DUI after authorities say his blood alcohol level measured 0.217 percent. Not only do officials say he failed the test, but they also make the charge that Gutshall was driving under a suspended license and had a ton of other traffic violations.

In the words of the iconic Fred Sanford, “You big dummy.”